Music Monday – Transgression, or Something to Offend Everyone

WARNING: THIS STUFF IS NSFW, NC-17, AND WILL PROBABLY OFFEND EVERYONE. IF YOU HAVE ANY PERSONAL ISSUES WITH LYRICS THAT PORTRAY ARTISTIC AND CONTROVERSIAL IMAGES OF VIOLENCE OR RAPE, TURN BACK NOW. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. DON’T COME WHINING TO ME LATER.

Ah, the little goth chick in me still likes to be shocked and titillated. In case you hadn’t noticed, I am a rather staunch Transgressionist. For most of my life, this has been more than just an aesthetic, it has been a lifestyle. The transformation of the flesh into a living manifesto and commentary on the repressive moral stranglehold of our society has been my raison d’être since I was old enough to wield a razor blade. That, I am just generally a big, ol’ degenerate. Granted, others have been far more extreme, but then again I managed to live long enough to see the far side of 40. As I have aged, I have certainly mellowed. I still enjoy my deviance and shock culture, but gone are the days of listening to extreme avantgarde noise music while reading “Les 120 journées de Sodome” before running off to work as a professional bondage slave or to see someone mutilate themselves onstage at some random performance art piece. I will never forget the moment I realized I might have become too jaded. It was the New Years Eve we spent with Aesthetic Meat Foundation. As I watched a woman bound on a piano being sexually violated with a raw calf’s liver to the blare of industrial music and some vaguely Eastern European guy yelling about how “meat is life” into a bullhorn, I turned to my friend and said, “You wanna go to Canter’s after this?”. He shrugged and said, “Sure”. When shit like that makes you crave pastrami, it’s time to reassess your life.

Here are some of my favorite songs from my youth. If you are the sort of person who likes Marilyn Manson… go back to fucking kindergarten, this shit is for grownups.

Crass – Reality Asylum (1979)

Yeah, it gets worse from here…
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Busting Out My Tinfoil Hat

I’m a reasonable person. I am relatively well read, fairly sensible, and not prone to just accept what I am told as gospel if it doesn’t jibe with what I know of the physical world. Sure, I believe in mystical experiences, the paranormal, hell, even Bigfoot, but I am also aware that these are my BELIEFS, not things I can expect others to believe in as well. In other words, I am a kook, but I am a fairly level-headed kook. I don’t believe that contrails are part of a government conspiracy, I don’t think the world is run by lizard people, etc.

That said…

There is some seriously creepy shit afoot.

When we first moved to our island a year ago, I was happily cleaning my new house, when suddenly I heard a terrifying industrial roar coming from behind our house. I went outside and stared at the treeline. It was this booming, grinding, whooshing sound, like jet engine or enormous steam valve. It seemed to be coming from the mountain on the island. And it was loud. Since we had just moved here, I wasn’t used to the local sounds, and having grown up right next to the Boeing plant I was no stranger to loud jet-like noises. Except… this had a really creepy quality, like it was coming from the sky, but at the same time extremely close. It went on for several minutes and then stopped. I scratched my head and went about my business, assuming it had something to do with the quarry on the far side of the island (the only industry here, everything else is residential, family farms, or mostly forest. We don’t even have any traffic lights or a gas station on the island). Turns out that we can only occasionally hear some blasting coming from the quarry, and even that rare and fairly faint, like distant fireworks.

Cut to about 6 months ago. I came across these videos by accident, and I swear to you this is the sound I heard. I know there is a lot of debate about this being a hoax (which is quite probable, but still a weird coincidence), but this particular video was allegedly filmed in Vancouver, which I can almost see from my kitchen window.


Seriously, there are dozens of these on YouTube. Many of them are clearly hoaxes, some are more convincing.

The other creepy thing happening around here involves the crows. The crows are acting in a most un-crowlike manner. Best Friend and his husband Co-Priest spent New Years in Vancouver and witnessed an enormous flock of crows (yes, I know it’s a murder, but that just sounds so gother-than-thou) circling overhead, to the point where people were freaking out and gawking at them. The college I attend has been taken over by what can only be described as a swarm of crows, hundreds of them, cawing an circling like a huge black cloud. People break out their phones to film them. It’s weird, and it’s not a behavior I have witnessed before, at least not anywhere near this scale. It all feels like the beginning of some horror movie, where if we had just paid attention to the signs/portents/scientific evidence/message we could have stopped it.

So, coincidental bullshit? Aliens? Global warming? The second coming of the zombie of a Jewish day-laborer? I have no clue. But strange things are afoot at the Circle K…

The Lockpicker

I am known far and wide for my strange and prodigious dreams. Tonight, on the longest night of the year, was no exception.

I’m in a high-rise apartment full of tiny, Japanese style apartments. It is nighttime. There is a small gathering of boys in their late teens/early 20s having an argument. Apparently, several of them are amateur  computer hackers and have done wrong to the one laying on the bed. He swears his revenge, gets into the bed, and starts to summon something. We hear a noise out in the hall, a slow, quiet ticking, like someone gently rattling their keys. The sound grows in volume and intensity, becoming faster and faster. We start to become afraid. I peep through the crack under the door into the hall and see the main door vibrating and and changing, becoming eerily translucent. I can see a short, squat figure, wearing a floppy, wide brimmed English farmers hat and dirty peasant jerkin, doing something to the door from the other side. It is The Lockpicker, an entity that takes gruesome vengeance on people who break into things or steal. The boys scatter down the hall to their own apartments. I stay on the floor, peeking under the door. The Lockpicker enters, with a creepy half-smile on his face. He casually starts walking down the hall to one of the boy’s apartments. He stops by the door I am hiding behind. I know that nothing, NOTHING, in this world can hide me from him, no door can keep him out, no lock, no wall, nothing. He looks directly at me with his creepy smile… and then continues down the hall while the boys scream in the face of their inevitable fate…

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