As I sit here, on a beautiful, sunny Pacific Northwest afternoon waiting for a ferry to take me from my Paramour’s island to the mainland, I think about how lucky I am. Sure, the first 30 years of my life were fraught with drama and strife, but in the last 10 or 15 years things have finally started coming together. I attribute some if this to having a deeper understanding of both myself and my spirituality. Sometimes I think people believe that prayer is like a karmic pez dispenser: insert prayer, out pops your hearts desire. When they don’t get what they want or something negative happens, they throw up their hands and decide the entire system is a sham.
I am a huge fan fan if Doctor Who. There was recently and episode where the Doctor meets his Tardis in human form. He complains to her that she was faulty in performing her duties. “You never took me where I wanted to go!”, he cried. “But I always took you where you needed to go.”, she replied. Whether or not you see the gods as being interventionists, or if you believe it is all just dumb luck, life has a way of handing you things as you need them, not as you want them. Sometimes, if you are very lucky, those moments happen at the same time.
So, as I sit here in the sun, waiting for a ship to take me from my Paramour’s island to the mainland, where I will take another ship from the mainland back to my husband, I think how very lucky I am at this moment to have both what I want and what I need. I can only hope to do right by both of these wonderful men in my life.